Catholic Animal Lover!

Life comes at you fast, indeed! It’s now less than 2 months till Dominic Raphael J. is supposed to make an entrance, and I’m so excited! I feel a strong connection with him, and am constantly rubbing my belly and talking/singing to him, heh. I’m also sure he’s either going to be a kick-boxer, or a dancer! He’s crazy active sometimes. Which of course is better than not active!  Last Ultrasound went great–except for the fact that the little bugger wouldn’t show his face, and we ended up with no good pictures. Meh! But just went to the OB Dr. the other day, and the consensus is that I’m doing perfectly fine! No high blood pressure, no high sugar, no problems whatsoever. Praise God! It’s come a long way from “high-risk”, eh?!

Anyway, so that’s the update with that. LOOK OUT MOTHERHOOD, HERE I COME!

New apartment, new outlook on life, new realizations…Craziness all around!

I’ve got several friends pregnant along with myself, which is nifty. Miss Grace especially, and wish I could see her; she and I are due within a day of each other! People getting married too! Just found out another friend is headed down the isle this year (congrats AnnMarie!). I know I’m headed to at least 2 weddings–1 is in July, which will be right after Baby! Hopefully that’s ok, and Baby enjoys going up to NY, heh. Then there’s another one down here in August…

Isn’t this a cool candle? It’s a round, shaped candle covered with “mini roses” that I got from a Yves Rocher catalog probably 7 yrs ago! I never burned it, because it was so pretty, but figured, now that I have a place to, I might as well. It’s really cool to look at, and burns pretty straight. It also smells like roses!!

I’ve been learning a bunch of things lately, with this new life of ours. Figured I’d share them, for what they’re worth.

1. I’ve learned that no matter how crappy our little apt. may seem…no matter how many splotches of paint there are on the walls/floor that shouldn’t be there…no matter how many gaps there are between the walls and counters/shower/ceiling…no matter how many huge brown spiders seem to be invading this place…no matter how little insulation there is between us and the upstairs, and how loud the neighbors are…no matter how muddy it gets outside…no matter how much of a walkway we DO NOT have…no matter how little countertop space there is for cooking…no matter how few windows there are…and even no matter if there aren’t any oven/stove knobs–THIS APT IS STILL BETTER THAN LIVING IN A BEDROOM IN MY PARENTS’ HOUSE! And it is a God-send. It is our own, and till we get a house someday, right now-this is where we are. This is where God has led us. And He has let me begin to make it a place of living. That is NOT a little smelly bedroom in someone else’s crazy chaotic home!

2. I’ve learned that even though there are only 2 people living in this apt., we still go through toilet paper like crazy! When planning for your own place, people, remember the little things that cost $$!

3. I’ve learned that I’m not nervous or scared about being pregnant, or having a baby, even. None of that hospital stuff seems to freak me out. All in all, I’m pretty calm about it, I’d say…but I am nervous about the after. Because I haven’t ever been a Mother, and I believe training up children in the way they should go, as God directs, is a huge task and a great responsibility. Also, I’m a bit nervous about raising a boy first–it just seems lately that little girls are around me, and they’d seem easier. But Lord willing, I’ll find out that path as well down the line!

4. I’ve learned it’s tough to remember “budget” when trying to put a house together, and especially when trying to make sure there is food on the table! Sometimes my creativity wants to get the better of me, and while pasta is dirt cheap so we stocked up on it–I don’t want to serve pasta–again! I’m learning that ads and coupons come in handy when grocery shopping. Never underestimate them, pals! And also, having a few good spices and marinades can make a big diff.

5. I’ve been learning that while I may not be the best Catholic, and while I may be light yrs away from understanding all the intricacies of my Faith, I am so glad to be part of the Catholic Church–as screwed up as the modernist-infected-version is! The traditional faith, laid down from Christ, is a huge comfort. And I’ve also been learning that God does give grace to learn if we have the heart/mind/desire to do so. I’ve been trying to get myself more focused and conditioned, so that the things I might otherwise not focus for/find boring, become part of my spiritual walk, and help build my faith. Prayer life is a big point right now, especially with Baby coming!!–and Bible reading, and focus on the faith.

6. I’ve learned that I really love the Bible my hubby got just for me! It’s a huge, hardcover, real leather, black large-print Catholic Bible, and it’s become a big part of my mindset, actually. It’s helped me get back to that place of reading every day, where I need to be. Also, I love that Peter’s started reading before dinner, like my Dad still tries to do, heh. It’s a cool thing to institute, and I’m glad it’s become a habit for our family

7. I’ve learned that while much of our past, and even this past first year of our marriage, has been defined by error and struggle, we’ve come a long way. By God’s mercy, and angel’s protection, I firmly believe. There were times when I was sure I could understand people feeling like they might as well just give up (to an extent), but I knew in my heart it was a sacred Sacrament, and a love worth fighting for…and I realize nothing is ever alwaze roses and cuddles–but a life-long commitment to make a family under God, to love each other unconditionally, to work towards holiness and salvation of our souls, and help our mate’s do the same. Marriage is amazing, people, really. And so God-blessed.

8. I’ve been trying to learn ways to motivate myself, and to keep focus when in this apt alone, to still get all the things done I need to, yet not lose my mind! I’ve been trying to be a good wife–and make sure things like dinner-on-the-table-when-he-gets-home, are done, but sometimes my ADD and my pregnancy seem to rally against me at the same time, and I start 6 different things! It’s hard not to feel like a failure when there seems to be so much to get done still in the day, but my body/mind just isn’t there. But I’m learning! Being a wife is an adventure.

9. I’m learning I have several avenues of creative streak that I’m not sure how to pursue. I’m feeling creative a lot of times, but I’m not sure in what areas I’m strongest, or should be moving forward in (if that makes any sense). Some days I feel like pursuing art, some days I feel like working on my voice. But I’m not sure how to pursue any of them, or which one–more importantly–I’m supposed to be pursuing. Especially with Dominic coming, and $ being ever-tight. But I’m learning the creative streak is there, and God HAS given it for a reason, so maybe I just need to calm down, pray more, and let Him guide?!

10. And I’ve also begun to FINALLY realize that my husband and I are such opposites, we make a great team–when we learn how to play to each other’s strengths, not weaknesses! God has given us the gift of each other, and sometimes it seems like we are on opposite ends of the world! But we’re not…we just aren’t being patient with each other, and sucking up our pride. When we do, we are an amazing team. And I’m hoping we learn to show our different sides to our kids, so they learn the best of both worlds–not just opposite ends of a spectrum.

Well, that’s just some of the brain food I’ve been thinking about today/the past couple of weeks. There’s so much more I want to say, but I’ll try to update more often now, so you can read my crazy ramblings

Be sure to follow me on Twitter if you’re not already! LovingAnimals is me! God bless!

I am so weak in my faith, and such a struggling bad example of a Catholic, as my husband constantly reminds me (not by saying as such, but in saying how “Protestant/anti-Catholic” I seem…).

Weather permitting, tomorrow we head to St. Michael’s for Confession and then Mass. I really do miss it. I feel so empty, and I know I’m not in a good way. I admit, I’ve purposely not gone to Mass in weeks past, or held my anger against hubby as a reason to stay..but we also were held up by weather, etc. It’s really sucky being at the mercy of other people for such a vital element for our souls! My parentals just consider it ‘church’, so if we can’t go, well, we’ll go next week. But what if our souls are so lax, and something happens to us?! *sigh* I cannot wait to get out of this house, and back on our own again.

Anyway. I am reading a booklet that one of our priests recommended to me one week in the Confessional booth, entitled “Uniformity With God’s Will” by St. Alphonsus de Liguori (1696-1787). I really suck at reading through things, or keeping focus, or I guess just being interested enough to read long enough, but I am trying. And my goal this year is to not stop till I finish what I’m reading. Even a 31pg booklet! And even if it takes me a month! So I’ve been picking it up every few days and reading a few paragraphs or so.

I’ve actually found this to be helpful to me, because so much good, wise writing into my brain at one time doesn’t usually get heeded. This way, I can learn a little at a time. We do what we must, right?  So I’ve been reading, and learning–or trying to–because I know my will is not conclusive with God’s. But it’s a major struggle for me to know what God’s will is. I mean, I know it’s good and holy, but what IS IT in daily life??

So that’s a struggle.

Also, another point I’m having a tough time with is the concept St. Alphonsus states that everything comes from God, even the dark stuff. Which I guess in a way is true, but he writes:

“When anything disagreeable happens, remember it comes from God and say at once, “This comes from God” and be at peace…Lord, since Thou hast done this, I will be silent and accept it. Direct all your thoughts and prayers to this end…”

I guess it’s more about knowing God wants what’s best, and KNOWS what’s best, and is alwaze working our lives for good if we follow Him, right? It’s times like these I feel so dumb, and wish I had Catholic counsel, perhaps a good priest to talk to, and to get things explained by.

Of course, I am praying daily to be in God’s will, whatever it may be, and will start working on accepting whatever He “throws” at me with peace (don’t know how in the world one starts that LOL!). And I am a work in progress. I can only pray that God will have pity on me, and show me something simple to grasp.

I really enjoy the booklet, though, and St. Alphonsus has great wisdom.

Lord have mercy.