Catholic Animal Lover!

So it’s been a while (again) since I’ve updated. But I figured I’d better drop a note. I really want to find a “mommy” blog & make a new one…even if it’s not for pay, heh. Since Today.com hasn’t turned into the most lucrative deal for me anyway (probably would if I was interesting or consistent!)–maybe blogspot.com or something…But I haven’t gotten around to it.

It’s  June 3rd. Baby is supposed to come on the 10th. But I am SO ready to get him out of my pained belly, lol! And off my bladder, but that’s another story altogether… I am as big as a house, and Sunday I had such hard contractions and pain I was sure Dominic Raphael Josefek was coming that night! But nope. Just my body adjusting and being slow.

I finally have my bag pretty much ready to go to the hospital, and am now just hoping it happens soon. I want to meet my baby! I mean, I feel connected to him and everything, but I can’t wait to begin being an actual hands-on Mother.

Of course there are worries and nerves–but as Peter and I talked about the other night–most of that stuff is for his future, and the future of our family–not for the parenting-of-the-baby part. Being a traditional Catholic in today’s world, is going to be tough. Raising up your children in the way they should go, so when they’re old they won’t depart from it, is a monumentous task, and a brand new one for us and our familes (at least in the Catholic sense). Life is tough, and finding others like ourselves has been a real challenge.

The Catholic Church today isn’t really much to look at mostly. It’s hard to find traditionalists, and even harder to find ones that really do want to be in the world, but NOT of it. Like every “Christian” avenue–there are many lukewarm people in the mainstream.

Even the Catholics in our familes aren’t people we’d want raising our kids when it came down to it. So obviously God wants us to start our generational family anew…Question is, how do we, when it seems like so much is against us?

We have to trust Him. There is no other way. If God shows you a path He wants you to take, though the world may go against you–you MUST go forward in trust and obedience. Or there will be dire consequenses. Listening to His will brings untold joy, though

So we shall try to raise a good family, and children that know truth. Even in a dying world.

Contractions that are fake suck! I pretty much envy my fellow-new-mom friend Grace–she was due a day off from me, but instead went into labor about a month before, having her baby boy the night before Mother’s Day! Her water broke hard-core, and her labor was only–craziness!–5 1/2 hours!!! Lucky stiff! She didn’t get the random “think-you’re-in-labor-but-have-no-idea” problems like I’m dealing with!

Ugh..every day I’m hoping he comes! Except, tomorrow is Peter’s and my anniversery, so we’d rather Dominic’s birthday not be on that day!

We shall see.

I’m making pancakes for dinner tonight! Ember Fast day, so I figured that’d be different. Also, I’m finishing watching Ice Age–one of my all time favorite movies! Cracks me up!!

Well, I guess that’s enough of an update. I shall try to update as things progress. I may go into labor any time now! I really hope so..it’d be nice to get it over with, heh..

Life comes at you fast, indeed! It’s now less than 2 months till Dominic Raphael J. is supposed to make an entrance, and I’m so excited! I feel a strong connection with him, and am constantly rubbing my belly and talking/singing to him, heh. I’m also sure he’s either going to be a kick-boxer, or a dancer! He’s crazy active sometimes. Which of course is better than not active!  Last Ultrasound went great–except for the fact that the little bugger wouldn’t show his face, and we ended up with no good pictures. Meh! But just went to the OB Dr. the other day, and the consensus is that I’m doing perfectly fine! No high blood pressure, no high sugar, no problems whatsoever. Praise God! It’s come a long way from “high-risk”, eh?!

Anyway, so that’s the update with that. LOOK OUT MOTHERHOOD, HERE I COME!

New apartment, new outlook on life, new realizations…Craziness all around!

I’ve got several friends pregnant along with myself, which is nifty. Miss Grace especially, and wish I could see her; she and I are due within a day of each other! People getting married too! Just found out another friend is headed down the isle this year (congrats AnnMarie!). I know I’m headed to at least 2 weddings–1 is in July, which will be right after Baby! Hopefully that’s ok, and Baby enjoys going up to NY, heh. Then there’s another one down here in August…

Isn’t this a cool candle? It’s a round, shaped candle covered with “mini roses” that I got from a Yves Rocher catalog probably 7 yrs ago! I never burned it, because it was so pretty, but figured, now that I have a place to, I might as well. It’s really cool to look at, and burns pretty straight. It also smells like roses!!

I’ve been learning a bunch of things lately, with this new life of ours. Figured I’d share them, for what they’re worth.

1. I’ve learned that no matter how crappy our little apt. may seem…no matter how many splotches of paint there are on the walls/floor that shouldn’t be there…no matter how many gaps there are between the walls and counters/shower/ceiling…no matter how many huge brown spiders seem to be invading this place…no matter how little insulation there is between us and the upstairs, and how loud the neighbors are…no matter how muddy it gets outside…no matter how much of a walkway we DO NOT have…no matter how little countertop space there is for cooking…no matter how few windows there are…and even no matter if there aren’t any oven/stove knobs–THIS APT IS STILL BETTER THAN LIVING IN A BEDROOM IN MY PARENTS’ HOUSE! And it is a God-send. It is our own, and till we get a house someday, right now-this is where we are. This is where God has led us. And He has let me begin to make it a place of living. That is NOT a little smelly bedroom in someone else’s crazy chaotic home!

2. I’ve learned that even though there are only 2 people living in this apt., we still go through toilet paper like crazy! When planning for your own place, people, remember the little things that cost $$!

3. I’ve learned that I’m not nervous or scared about being pregnant, or having a baby, even. None of that hospital stuff seems to freak me out. All in all, I’m pretty calm about it, I’d say…but I am nervous about the after. Because I haven’t ever been a Mother, and I believe training up children in the way they should go, as God directs, is a huge task and a great responsibility. Also, I’m a bit nervous about raising a boy first–it just seems lately that little girls are around me, and they’d seem easier. But Lord willing, I’ll find out that path as well down the line!

4. I’ve learned it’s tough to remember “budget” when trying to put a house together, and especially when trying to make sure there is food on the table! Sometimes my creativity wants to get the better of me, and while pasta is dirt cheap so we stocked up on it–I don’t want to serve pasta–again! I’m learning that ads and coupons come in handy when grocery shopping. Never underestimate them, pals! And also, having a few good spices and marinades can make a big diff.

5. I’ve been learning that while I may not be the best Catholic, and while I may be light yrs away from understanding all the intricacies of my Faith, I am so glad to be part of the Catholic Church–as screwed up as the modernist-infected-version is! The traditional faith, laid down from Christ, is a huge comfort. And I’ve also been learning that God does give grace to learn if we have the heart/mind/desire to do so. I’ve been trying to get myself more focused and conditioned, so that the things I might otherwise not focus for/find boring, become part of my spiritual walk, and help build my faith. Prayer life is a big point right now, especially with Baby coming!!–and Bible reading, and focus on the faith.

6. I’ve learned that I really love the Bible my hubby got just for me! It’s a huge, hardcover, real leather, black large-print Catholic Bible, and it’s become a big part of my mindset, actually. It’s helped me get back to that place of reading every day, where I need to be. Also, I love that Peter’s started reading before dinner, like my Dad still tries to do, heh. It’s a cool thing to institute, and I’m glad it’s become a habit for our family

7. I’ve learned that while much of our past, and even this past first year of our marriage, has been defined by error and struggle, we’ve come a long way. By God’s mercy, and angel’s protection, I firmly believe. There were times when I was sure I could understand people feeling like they might as well just give up (to an extent), but I knew in my heart it was a sacred Sacrament, and a love worth fighting for…and I realize nothing is ever alwaze roses and cuddles–but a life-long commitment to make a family under God, to love each other unconditionally, to work towards holiness and salvation of our souls, and help our mate’s do the same. Marriage is amazing, people, really. And so God-blessed.

8. I’ve been trying to learn ways to motivate myself, and to keep focus when in this apt alone, to still get all the things done I need to, yet not lose my mind! I’ve been trying to be a good wife–and make sure things like dinner-on-the-table-when-he-gets-home, are done, but sometimes my ADD and my pregnancy seem to rally against me at the same time, and I start 6 different things! It’s hard not to feel like a failure when there seems to be so much to get done still in the day, but my body/mind just isn’t there. But I’m learning! Being a wife is an adventure.

9. I’m learning I have several avenues of creative streak that I’m not sure how to pursue. I’m feeling creative a lot of times, but I’m not sure in what areas I’m strongest, or should be moving forward in (if that makes any sense). Some days I feel like pursuing art, some days I feel like working on my voice. But I’m not sure how to pursue any of them, or which one–more importantly–I’m supposed to be pursuing. Especially with Dominic coming, and $ being ever-tight. But I’m learning the creative streak is there, and God HAS given it for a reason, so maybe I just need to calm down, pray more, and let Him guide?!

10. And I’ve also begun to FINALLY realize that my husband and I are such opposites, we make a great team–when we learn how to play to each other’s strengths, not weaknesses! God has given us the gift of each other, and sometimes it seems like we are on opposite ends of the world! But we’re not…we just aren’t being patient with each other, and sucking up our pride. When we do, we are an amazing team. And I’m hoping we learn to show our different sides to our kids, so they learn the best of both worlds–not just opposite ends of a spectrum.

Well, that’s just some of the brain food I’ve been thinking about today/the past couple of weeks. There’s so much more I want to say, but I’ll try to update more often now, so you can read my crazy ramblings

Be sure to follow me on Twitter if you’re not already! LovingAnimals is me! God bless!

March already? Wow. Craziness.

Last Sunday we went to the SSPX Church again, this time due to weather and stuff. The priest was different, but still French. But he was cute, and a lot easier to understand. After service, Peter wanted him to bless my baby, if he would, because we were going Monday to the specialist Dr. due to them calling my pregnancy high-risk, and my baby possibly having an irregular heartbeat.

The priest was so friendly, and excited about our new addition. He said there is a specific blessing for an expectant mother, and took us up to the sacristy for the blessing. He got the blessing book out, and Holy Water, and we knelt–though he told Peter the blessing was for me and my baby, heh, not him–and he went through a full Latin blessing from the Roman book. It was amazing. A novus ordo priest probably would’ve just said “God bless your baby”, but this SSPX priest gave me the full blessing from ancient times! It was such a blessing.

The next day, we went to the specialist. We were early, and the Dr.s offices were about an hour behind. I was excited I got to go into an Ultrasound. This time, the nurse actually spoke to us a lot, and seemed to know more of what she was doing, and explained what everything was.

We immediately saw what the gender of the baby was this time! A baby boy!! YAY! No closing his legs this time! Plus, he’s getting so big! She showed us his little legs, and his feet–he was dancing or something. Probably didnt like being poked and prodded!

Then she said they were going to do a 4-D Ultrasound. I have no idea what that means, technically, but I know the picture was amazing! It was what I thought was a 3-D picture, but I guess not. Not just profiles of the ancient Ultrasounds. And not all offices have the new 4-D Ultrasounds, so we were blessed.

I asked if the nurse could show us his little face. The first picture she shot for, the baby had his little arm up, showing his little bicep (awwww!!!) but not his face! And oddly enough–due to the color of the baby’s skin, and the sac he’s in, and everything, it looked like he had no hand! But the picture is adorable. You can see his little ear… The second picture is of his face. He is SO AMAZING!

That a woman could see an Ultrasound photo, then abort her baby, is beyond me, and a true act of sickness.

Speaking of which–Peter took all the abortion pamphlets in the office and threw them away later!! It was great sneak-age, heh…

Anyway, the baby is beautiful, and the Ultrasound was so amazing. If you’re going to get an Ultrasound–you should check if you can get a 4-D, because they’re something else.

I am due for another one in about 6 wks, so by then he should be so very visable and full. YAY!

Now I’m getting ready to switch my PCP from Dr. Kon (who we haven’t seen yet), to a pediatric/family PCP Dr., so I can get a normal check up, and my thyroid checked. The OB/GYN office visit (which was great except for the “poking” part *shiver*) had about 6 vials of blood taken for tests, and the specialist Dr. told us that my Thyroid is indeed under-active, and so I need to get on meds for it, cause it can harm the baby. So hopefully I get that taken care of soon.

So that’s the latest update!

So my goal is to sometime today/tonight find out the true background story behind St. Valentine’s Day, and why in the world America has a random Catholic holiday?! I mean, at least St. Patty’s Day goes along with all the Irish immigrants, right? So when hubby and I read the Propers for today, I’ll look into it.

Today was the first day for husband’s new job–it’s a 12hr shift that he had to be up by 5:30am for. But the day will end up being really long for him (and brother), because he left at about 6am. He’s gonna be hurting today, I know that much. Not much longer till he gets home, thank God. I miss him, and feel for him; I woke up earlier today, but made myself get back in bed just trying to kill time till I see him again–my heart misses him when he’s gone, even to work. Especially since I know it’s going to be tough day for him.

But he and my brother lucked out with this contract job, and because they wouldn’t work on Sundays–they get tomorrow off, and only have to work a few days a week before 2 or 3 off. It’s a weird schedule, and shift, but beggers can’t be choosers, right? I am thankful for the job, I really am, and am hoping we can save the $ that comes in from it, though I pretty much suck at that aspect of life (oy vey!)!

The tough thing about this job is it’s a temp job, really. The branch they’re working for is normally a swing shift–which hubby can’t work, with me and everything–and doesn’t give Sundays off. So, this job is only guaranteed for about 2 months. Then they may kick them out, or say they have to work swing, which my man won’t. So we’re still looking for a “real” job, and it’s tough.

I know it’s tough on him, and his provider instinct. But he doesn’t realize what an amazing man he is, and how much he does indeed provide for me. No man tries harder, and he has it where it counts–in his heart. We must just accept God’s will for our lives may be to struggle right now *or forever lol*, and we have to learn to trust Him…But man, it’s hard!

Older Sister and her hubby and baby came up today for an overnight stay. I was planning to stay away, but after searching my heart, and praying for strength, I decided against it, and was glad I had. The baby loves her Aunt Audrey, oddly enough (I have a thing, and kids just like me, I swear!), and I am glad to see her and respond to a baby, even if I don’t approve of everything older Sis does with her fam.

But it’s alwaze been like that; we’ve never gotten along too well (except when maybe we were little kids), and have never been on the same track of life–we do so many things opposite, and rarely approve of what the other does. Plus, given the lack of God-factor, it’s tough to connect with her. But I connect with the little one, and that’s what matters to me.

I am trying to be a good Aunt, so when the little baby is older, she doesn’t only remember raging showdowns between her mother and me, but rather a good Catholic Aunt that loves her. It’s an area where I can be a witness, of some sort.

So, it IS indeed St. Valentine’s Day today, which is of course a highly commercialized holiday, and one which I really don’t enjoy, because of that aspect. I hate the concept of a specific day when you’re supposed  to give your loved one/s gifts/flowers/candy, etc. That’s one of the things I love about my Man–he’s amazing, and will buy me something special and heartfelt when I don’t expect it, thereby making the gift so much more special. Expecting stuff on Valentine’s Day is obnoxious!

But, silly man that he is, he got me some kind of secret gift!!! The rat! I love him so much, heh. I guess Mom and little siblings knew about the gift, which was something he ordered and arrived with his name on it. Mom had the box in her room, and I only found out last night when Little Sister found a package with my name on it, and I wanted to see if it was the ATC cards I ordered to paint. She didn’t want me to open the package,and told me why. So I let her open it, and sure enough it was what I ordered from Artfire.com.

But I guess husband’s gift arrived today and was in Mom’s room hidden, till Dad brought it out, asking what it was. Mom tried to stop me from getting it, but BWAHAHAHAHA! I really want to open it, but heh, I’ll wait till Hubby gets home, so he can give it. He’s so cute, really. I have no idea what it is, though it feels  like a VHS or a book or something. I have no idea…

Excited! Surprises are fun–even if it is St. Valentine’s Day, and I don’t normally enjoy that concept, heh!

More on the ATCs later…I’m really trying to get my creative level up; got a couple more plaster animals–turtle and a dinosaur–to paint and hopefully sell. I want eventually to get some classes on painting so I can be worth a dang, but for now I’ll have to practice with my own brain!

So I spent most of the early afternoon trying to get an appointment with an OB/GYN Dr. Anywhere! Grr. Frustrating.

First, I had to call the clinic I’d gone to, to make sure they’d faxed my Ultrasound information over to our assistance caseworker, for the proof of pregnancy/due date. The girl at the clinic said she already had, but would do it again…When we called the caseworker, she’d not recieved either copy. Grrr…

Then I tried several Dr.s/Clinics to see if I could get in to be seen by and OB/GYN for the baby and check up, but no one seems to be able to get me in before the end of March! By then I’ll be about 6 1/2 months! Which is waaay too long. I probably should’ve been to one already, but oh well. Everything’s taking forever.

So I tried the Mothers-To-Be clinic, which finally scheduled me for an interview (??!)–which they said will take about 2hrs!–on the 17th of Feb., and I guess that’s the earliest I have found so far. So we’ll see what happens. I may just be stuck with them. But it’s tough.

The Baby is breached, and according to the woman at the clinic, I’m a high-risk pregnancy for several reasons–it being my first, my thyroid, and etc. She wouldn’t tell me what else over the phone. GRRR! So on Sunday, we’re just going into the clinic after Mass, and finding out what’s up.

We have to get a couple of copies of the proof of pregnancy/due date for the Mothers-To-Be as well as our caseworker (since the faxed version had never showed up), so hopefully we can at least get that cleared up.

Man, this is such a pain. And I need to get this Baby checked!! GRRRRRR!!

Heya. So it’s been a crazy weekend, and it seems soo far away! Alas, it’s only Monday, the 2nd of Feb, so I guess it wasn’t all that long ago that Friday happened, eh?

Friday was my Ultrasound. I was so psyched to be heading towards finding out what gender of child I was having! But I was NOT psyched about all the water I was supposed to drink beforehand–I mean c’mon people! I had spoken to one of my best friends about the situation (she’s pregnant at the same stage as me, and had hers not too long ago), and she told me about how I was supposed to not go to the bathroom and start drinking the 4 glasses of water an hour before my appt.

They had told me 5 glasses. That’s 40 oz, people. That’s more than a half gallon of water! Which is fine if you’re drinking it througout the day. But to drink that much when you’re pregnant, and keep it all in-especially when you already have a miniture bladder (ok, I don’t, but it feels like I do most times!)–is craziness.

Needless to say, that totally wasn’t happening. I ended up having to stop not once, but 3 times before my appointment for a bathroom break, as well as trying to drink the last of my little half-gallon too fast, and throwing it all up within 20 seconds of finishing! It was ridiculous… People can’t actually complete that task!

So anyway. We arrived at the hospital, on the wrong floor, and having no idea where we needed to be. Because of all my stopping, we were about half an hr late, so the whole thing almost couldn’t happen. But they were nice enough to direct us, and quickly help me register.

When I finally went in for the thing, I was just waiting to find out what I was having, the rest didn’t bother me.

After a few pictures (and by a few I mean like 35), the woman told me I could go empty my bladder (again!!), because I had to pee so bad my leg was shaking and I wasn’t holding still (couldn’t help it!). So I did, having to wipe off all that goopy gel they cover you belly with (gross stuff. It doesn’t wipe off, it just gets all over you and your towel and makes a mess), and then start again.

I swear, they took about 90 photos! We were there an hour or more. Because I already have pains in my belly, the ultrasound wand pressing all over really hard hurt like crazy. I didn’t enjoy it at all. Not only that, but most of the pictures on the screen looked like I alwaze imagine ultrasound photos to look—like grey and black masses of nothing, or wose–alien-like!

It was AMAZING, though, to hear the babies heart beat! It sounds like a submarine moving through the ocean, heh. I got to see its little hands and legs, and brain. It waved at us! It was awesome.

But apparently my baby has a fat butt, lol. It sat the whole time with its legs too close together to see what the gender was!! GRRR….I was so dissapointed. Not only that, but the nurse chose which photos to give us–3, in fact. All “profile” pictures, and only 1 of which I’m sure is a baby…The others I’m convinced are either apes or birds. They’re terrible! But then again, I didn’t expect much–I hate ultrasound pictures, heh. People alwaze show them online and such, and I’m alwaze holding back saying “what is it?”.

And I am no different with my own, so don’t worry, lol, I’m not biased! I dont’ think I could be with an ultrasound photo. What’s mostly ridiculous is that there were much better shots in the midst of those 90 photos. But she chose to give us the ugly profile pictures. I would’ve preferred one profile, and some of the others. Like the hand! Or that shot from the top of the baby’s head and face and arms and hands and legs scrunched up….grrr..Silly nurse.

Well, anyway. So yeah. Hopefully I can get another scheduled, because I really want to know what we’re having!!! But all seemed well otherwise. The baby is almost 22 weeks, and big and cute.

Ironically–when I got home, I felt dehydrated, and spent the whole evening drinking water like it was going out of style!

SSPX Parish in Pittston

Saturday nigh, after watching “16 Blocks” with brother and hubby, I ended up not getting to bed till around 3am. Then I woke up at about 5:30am for a bathroom break, only I couldn’t get back to bed…ARGH! I hate this new “hi-I-can’t-sleep-or-get-comfortable-” routine at night!

So when the 8-something alarm went off, I was nearly crying, after having watched the stupid red numbers on the alarm clock all early morning, trying to sleep–cause I knew husband would be disappointed in not being able to get to morning Mass. And I was too! After all the times I stupidly missed it, now I want to be there whenever I can, but I was never going to make it driving the whole way, not eating, on no sleep.

But hubby wasn’t angry, and said maybe we could go to the 4:30 Mass in Pittston at the SSPX Church. I never thought my parents would let us, but I asked Mom anyway. She said yes!

Hubby helped me fall asleep by rubbing my back (husbands rock!!), and then we woke later to go to Pittston.

The little parish was ugly looking outside, kind of plain inside, had zero heat (I’m convinced), and had a low Mass. But it was the Traditional Latin Mass, and it was said at a good parish, so it was safe.

The humorous thing was the priest. There were only about 10 people there, and they were mostly all old, except the priest, who was younger, and totally French! You couldn’t really tell when he was saying Mass, but when he got to the parts where he read the Epistle/Gosple in English, and said the homily, I almost burst out laughing.

French accents alwaze make me laugh, but it was ridiculous, because I couldn’t understand half the stuff he was saying, and every time he’d try to correct himself of a mis-pronounciation, he’d get it wrong in the end!

Unfortunately for us, the sermon consisted of a long praise of the ex-communication being lifted of the SSPX–which of course the priest kept insisting was NOT an excommunication–and little else relating to spiritual life. But I kind of understand. The excommunication of the Society of St.Pius 10th was just recently lifted by Pope Benedict , and it’s cause for rejoicing to traditional Catholics everywhere, or so it should be! The Church needs all the good people it can get, eh?!

Anyway. The priest was cute, though, and made all kinds of jokes. Everyone at the parish seemed nice, and they invited us for Lasagna afterwards. We couldn’t stay, because we had to get back to go to the Superbowl party at my parents’ church *we were just going for the food*, and meet Mom there…But I’m glad we got to see the parish in Pittston, and it’s good to know there’s a Society parish we can go to if ever we miss morning Mass.

Although, they normally have Mass at 10am, except for choice weeks in the month, when the priest says it randomly at 4:30pm!

We found out late last week that husband’s great Aunt passed away…She was 102! Craziness! But anyway..Hubby was supposed to be a pallbearer, so we figured a way to send him back to MA.

After Mass on Sunday, I took him to the bus station, which is about a mile from Church. I was so ill all through Mass–felt like I was going to faint. But I think a lot of it was because of him leaving. I’ve never been away from him for more than 1 night, really in a lonnnnng time. It hurt my heart, y’know?

He’s been gone till today. Well, last night, he had to go to Boston at 7pm from New Bedford, and take a 1am bus which layed over in NYC for about 3hrs. But the crazy thing is, he was supposed to be in by 11am, but he was almost stranded, because we got slammed with a snow storm!

The whole NorthEast area did, methinks. 3 of my friends from NY came down, and were to leave tonight, but got stranded for another day! YAYAYAYAYAY! The snow is great fun.

Of course right now it’s sleeting, heh. Which sucks.

But anyway…So Dad and Mom gave me a huge stress and dissertation about the weather and how no one was going to get my hubby who’d been in between stations and busses for about 10hrs…Then after I was done freaking out about it, and stressed to the point of pain in my tummy (:-( ) , Dad said he’d go and get hubby!

So now I await his return. We’re all lounging around, as a snowday will make people do. I miss him so much, though. SO MUCH!!!

It’s weird how much I feel when he’s not with me. I told him it’s like the song on The Lion King 2–”We are one, you and I/We are like the Earth and Sky…”

I’m so glad that friends are here, though. It’s helped ease the pain a bit. And hopefully we’ll all play a game (board, or card–not console!!) soon together!