Catholic Animal Lover!

I am so weak in my faith, and such a struggling bad example of a Catholic, as my husband constantly reminds me (not by saying as such, but in saying how “Protestant/anti-Catholic” I seem…).

Weather permitting, tomorrow we head to St. Michael’s for Confession and then Mass. I really do miss it. I feel so empty, and I know I’m not in a good way. I admit, I’ve purposely not gone to Mass in weeks past, or held my anger against hubby as a reason to stay..but we also were held up by weather, etc. It’s really sucky being at the mercy of other people for such a vital element for our souls! My parentals just consider it ‘church’, so if we can’t go, well, we’ll go next week. But what if our souls are so lax, and something happens to us?! *sigh* I cannot wait to get out of this house, and back on our own again.

Anyway. I am reading a booklet that one of our priests recommended to me one week in the Confessional booth, entitled “Uniformity With God’s Will” by St. Alphonsus de Liguori (1696-1787). I really suck at reading through things, or keeping focus, or I guess just being interested enough to read long enough, but I am trying. And my goal this year is to not stop till I finish what I’m reading. Even a 31pg booklet! And even if it takes me a month! So I’ve been picking it up every few days and reading a few paragraphs or so.

I’ve actually found this to be helpful to me, because so much good, wise writing into my brain at one time doesn’t usually get heeded. This way, I can learn a little at a time. We do what we must, right?  So I’ve been reading, and learning–or trying to–because I know my will is not conclusive with God’s. But it’s a major struggle for me to know what God’s will is. I mean, I know it’s good and holy, but what IS IT in daily life??

So that’s a struggle.

Also, another point I’m having a tough time with is the concept St. Alphonsus states that everything comes from God, even the dark stuff. Which I guess in a way is true, but he writes:

“When anything disagreeable happens, remember it comes from God and say at once, “This comes from God” and be at peace…Lord, since Thou hast done this, I will be silent and accept it. Direct all your thoughts and prayers to this end…”

I guess it’s more about knowing God wants what’s best, and KNOWS what’s best, and is alwaze working our lives for good if we follow Him, right? It’s times like these I feel so dumb, and wish I had Catholic counsel, perhaps a good priest to talk to, and to get things explained by.

Of course, I am praying daily to be in God’s will, whatever it may be, and will start working on accepting whatever He “throws” at me with peace (don’t know how in the world one starts that LOL!). And I am a work in progress. I can only pray that God will have pity on me, and show me something simple to grasp.

I really enjoy the booklet, though, and St. Alphonsus has great wisdom.

Lord have mercy.

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